ayu's DIARY: 9/11/2009 - 10/11/2009

"Tsuyosa wo Kudasai. (Strength please.)"
9 November 2009 5:44 AM

I said that in a CM for a drink back in the day.♪
With a wounded face, unkempt short blond hair, and a bandage stuck on my nose.
In the background, "moshimo tatta hitotsu dake negai ga kanau nara~*" is playing~, ah, the old days.
At the time, I was... 22 years old!! Daaannggg. lol
I know what you're thinking, what's with this talk all of a sudden? Well today, Minazo has a bandage like that on his nose, in the same spot.
When we saw it, me and Bancho both reacted to it at exactly the same time, saying
"Strength Please!!!"
We're so bad. lol.
Back then, I felt like I did nothing but hurt people who were important to me.
I probably didn't practice what I was preaching regarding strength.
As for how I am now... I think I started understanding the meaning of "strength" a long time ago, at least more than the me in that commercial.
But by my own measure, of course.
Only someone who notices all the small wounds, pains, and cries, only someone who can face that without turning their eyes away, really has the strength of living.
Becoming strong is definitely not something to be taken lightly.
On top of everything I've understood, today again I had thoughts that the face of an important person to me is something I'll absolutely always hold fast to, until the very end.
I would do anything to that effect.
And to that effect, Pino-san likewise has such a curious face.

Papico helps out in the fine art of totem pole creation.

But, of course, regardless of what I say, they would always rather be next to each other.
They'll always want to be next to each other.

Isn't that right? <3

Love ya, loves <3

*"If you could only have one wish granted...", lyrics from "NEVER EVER".

10 November 2009 7:32 AM

the night was a long one~.
What a day, it was still dark at 5:30 this morning~.
The sun came up about fifteen minutes later though.
I thought I'd be grateful for such a long night since I've been working, but I was all alone in my house so I was thinking, "please hurry up and come, morning!"... I'm kinda waffling on whether night is good or bad, huh? lol
So anyway, even though it was the middle of the night, it's natural for me to pass through this sort of scenery.

If you really look, and if you really think about it, Tokyo is amazing.
This is a city that never sleeps, too.
And we have to survive in our own concrete jungle today!!
Yesterday, my guide post to live, a very very important person, saw "This Is It" and sent me an e-mail with their thoughts.
And because of it... I really need to work hard!!!!

10 November 2009 10:08 PM

This morning, when I wrote "very very important person," a strangely high amount of you sent me your feelings on that. A number of you were in a very very good mood about it, lol.
But the person I was writing about is a woman who's older than me.♪
I could live my whole life and never catch up to her. And I don't want to try to catch up.
I always want to walk forward looking at her back as a guidepost for living.*
No matter what might come up, no matter what I meet, even if I can't talk to her, I believe in her, and my feelings of love for her will never change.
The days when she & I can laugh together are definitely coming again soon.
So it's oookkkkaaaaayyyy--------------!!!!!!!!!
On the days I can't see her, I become so dull, so the next time I've been able to see her, I won't want to talk.
So today, once again, I'll be living with all my might. You know?
I've recently been very cold to you all, but I'm always hoping that I can send warm days to your hearts and bodies.☆

*This recalls the lyrics to Ayu's song "walking proud" almost directly.

Creds: tasking & Deli@AHS


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